The Chaotic Model Of Life
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Life Lessons, Personal Development, Self-Realization on August 6th, 2008
“…when you reach an advanced age and look back over your lifetime, it can seem to have had a consistent order and plan, as though composed by some novelist. Events that when they occurred had seemed accidental and of little moment turn out to have been indispensable factors in the composition of a consistent plat. So who composed that plot?”*
Joseph Campbell
One of the many advantages of growing older is an increased clarity, a new perspective based on a greater understand of the whole. Maybe there was some plan after all, some grand design that was “my life”. Was I too wrapped up in it at the time to see and understand it?
Honda Blues
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Self-Realization on July 11th, 2009
We bought ourselves a Honda
Thought we had the best
But then it started breaking down
No different from the rest
Recall notices one by one
Kept coming in the mail
Japanese engineering once so good
Is starting now to fail?
Myself
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Life Lessons, Personal Development, Poetry on June 23rd, 2009
Am I allowed to be myself?
To rest peacefully in imperfection
Allowed yet to seek a higher ground
Rather than a fortress sound.
Opportunities Lost: A Footnote
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Family, Life Lessons, Personal Development, Self-Realization on June 15th, 2009
In re-reading the piece that I wrote several months ago (see April 12 entry: Opportunities Lost) in which I described the death of my father, a new perspective has emerged. It’s clearer now that illness, loss or any other personal trauma present only an opportunity for healing but is not necessarily a means to an end.
No, all of life’s events - both good and not so good, are potential lessons. Lessons to be used only if we choose to come to class. Other participants in life’s events can be viewed negatively (as, for instance, antagonists or controllers). Or they can be viewed as teachers - participants in our personal growth. The choice is ours, not theirs.
Chemicals
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Life Lessons on May 15th, 2009
It’s funny to think how much energy I invest in the preservation of an image - a projection of who I want to be in the eyes of others. An image fabricated from beliefs and fears schooled by the major players in my life. An image primarily of masculine competence and all the physical aspect of its being.
Happiness
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Self-Realization on April 26th, 2009
For whatever reasons , I have taken another look at happiness. Where does it come from; how can I create and sustain it? I have come to the conclusion that true happiness an only come from the absence of regret.
Regret is a terrible thing – robbing us of what we think we are, should be and could have been…if only.
Do we attach to the “could have been’s” as a means of sustaining true happiness when, in fact, meaning and happiness really derive from who we are inside…and can be.
What we can be attaches not to any expectations other than a knowing that there is a purpose in all things and that the combination of this awareness and unconditional love are gifts we have been given and can never be taken away.
Who Am I?
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Poetry, Self-Realization on April 24th, 2009
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Am I witty?
Am I smart?
It matters not
If there is no heart.
But I am strong
And proud and brave.
Be that then if you so choose
They aren’t the assets that I crave.
Opportunities Lost
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Family on April 12th, 2009
I watched my father die a slow death, literally wasting away before my eyes. Once a fierce, proud and determined man, before me now lay a pathetic shadow of this domineering personality. Only the cold, dark eyes of judgment remained.
He never softened as the end of his life became aware to him. There was a big heart inside but, although the approaching end grew closer and closer, he never shared from this heart – at least, not to me.
No, he remained business as usual until the end. In one of our last conversations he boastfully admitted that he was able to pull strings to get me accepted into the Naval Academy. It was a fact I suspected but preferred the sanctity of doubt to the cold reality of never having belonged in the first place. Such was his nature – I’ve long since forgiven him. Read the rest of this entry »
The Limits of Certainty
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Self-Realization on February 19th, 2009
There exists within us a certain comfort zone beyond which doubt and uncertainty exist. The outer limit of this zone isthe point where comfort dissolves and fear begins. We can live in either zone comfortably if we chose…or we can let fear keep us safe within the comfort zone. Step beyond the limits of certainty and experience all the freedom and joy of an unrestrained, creative life.
Read the rest of this entry »
We Are The Butterfly
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Life Lessons, Personal Development on February 16th, 2009
The old Chinese proverb states that a butterfly’s gently flapping wings in China has the power to dramatically affect weather on the other side of the world.
How can that be, I wondered cynically. Clearly, the Chinese weren’t privy to classical modern physics. What were they thinking? My reality and what I considered true couldn’t open any more…the belief system was closed.
Then I was reminded by an inner voice.
We accept approximation for that is the only way we can define and predict. We round off because it’s “close enough”. Therefore, we dance from one island of “certainty” to another without considerations of what lies between.
But it’s all in between. The islands of certainty we cling to are, in fact, infinitesimal points. Don’t shut out the possibility to explore in between. Here is where you will find the truth.
Okay, I said. Let’s try to get to the “truth”.
Part of the truth appears to me in the strange world of chaos and fractals.
Blinded
Posted by Wynne Stevens in Poetry on December 30th, 2008
Oh that I could see
The beauty of your soul,
Resting peacefully in silence
Beneath your surface.
But your surface is a mirror
Its reflection blinds me,
Blinds me to your truth
And your perfection.